When pondering how I should introduce email therapy, I thought about how it works practically, all the benefits it could offer, and the type of person who it might appeal to. I thought about how excited I am to begin offering email therapy to current and new clients. But then I thought, what would make an already internet-savvy person choose email therapy over any other type of online therapy? We already have therapy by video call, which has revolutionised access to therapy for people from all different groups, including those living in remote areas, and has given clients the choice to work with a therapist outside of their immediate location. We have synchronous chat therapy, where clients can exchange messages in real time with a therapist. So what is therapy by email’s unique selling point?
The reflective nature of writing
I kept coming back to the reflective nature of writing. The way in which we might review, and alter, and go away, and come back to what we write. The way that writing forces us to slow down, and really consider our words. As I sit here now, writing this blog post, I am checking my tone, my meaning, my intent behind every word. It feels like time has slowed down. I am more in my own head, more in touch with my words, less distracted.
In normal conversation, we are constantly checking and responding to the other person, their tone of voice, mannerisms, and micro-expressions. We are thinking about what we might say next; did we make ourselves clear, have we got enough time to say everything we need to say? There is a lot to be distracted by. And once we have said something, we can’t unsay it. If it doesn’t truly express how we think or feel, we have to use even more words to clarify, to adjust, to reframe. All of the distractions of the necessary interaction between two people who are face to face, are removed when we write. When we slow down, we check ourselves. We have more time, less pressure.
Access your inner voice
I’m a pretty chatty person, and a pretty chatty therapist, as any of my client’s would be able to attest to. But as I sit here now, writing this, considering everything I type, I am accessing a different part of myself, a part that doesn’t always get the opportunity to come to the fore. I’m listening to my inner voice in a different way. That inner voice is the part of me that needs some airtime.
“Journaling is like whispering to one’s self and listening at the same time.”
Bram Stoker, Dracula
It is not unusual to keep a journal of some kind as a tool in our efforts to support our mental health. Writing out our thoughts and feelings not only allows us to slow down, and access a different part of ourselves, but it also forces us to challenge what we think and feel. In Bram Stoker’s Dracula, the character Mina Murray says, “Journaling is like whispering to one’s self and listening at the same time.” When we hear our inner voice through our writing (I don’t know about you, but when I read it’s like someone is narrating to me inside my head), we get the chance to question whether what we are expressing is really true. Anyone who has experienced anxiety will be familiar with that persistent voice that speaks our fears and tells us we can’t do something. When we write, we slow right down, and give ourselves the space to challenge that voice. When we review what we have written, we can change our own minds.
Getting started with email counselling
Email therapy with a trained therapist gives you the space to change your own mind. The therapeutic relationship you develop with your therapist provides the safety you need to explore your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs. Sometimes it can be quite scary to be alone with our thoughts. Why not get them out and share them with a therapist who has the skills to support you through that process?
Yes, email therapy is convenient for those of us with busy lives. It gives privacy for therapy when privacy may be a challenge. It can fit into your life in any way you want it to. But, it also allows you to explore your inner voice, your inner world, in a way that you may not have had a chance to before.
My diary is open for new email therapy clients. I hope that you will get in touch and give yourself the chance to experience your inner voice in a new way.